For those of you who watch HOMTV, you know by now that Meridian Township is soon conducting a managed deer hunt to curb our deer population. Why you ask? Because there are too many of them. And they run full speed into my car. Yes, that happened to me early Monday morning. However, I know better than to blame overpopulation. There is a much more logical explanation to this issue, and it all revolves around one person… The ghost of Steve Jobs.
Now before you jump to conclusions, let me explain. This week was more packed than the drunk tank after an MSU football game. I had 2 essays, a story in my Journalism class, and it was my first week with story assignments. That’s a long story in itself, so let’s fast forward to Sunday night. I came in around one, and began editing my story. I left around 5 for chapter meeting at my fraternity, and then came back to work around 7. That’s when the fun began. My footage all of a sudden became corrupt. I had nothing. The crappy footage I worked hard to gather was now gone. All gone. All of a sudden, panic rushed over me like a wave of…, I don’t know, something big. Basically I got very angry and flustered. I had to resort to using old footage a previous intern had shot, and my story looked like crap. It went from irrelevant b-roll to a shot of me having a picnic by myself in front of Haslett Middle School, except I forgot the blanket.
If you had been there at HOMTV late that night, you would know what I’m talking about. I started making random noises just because. I was freaking out. I was yelling obscenities at the ghost of Steve Jobs. Once I was finally able to leave at 1:30a.m., I still had a 4 page essay and another story for my journalism class to write, all due the next morning. However, I figured if I were to enjoy one part of my night, it would be the peacefulness of a nice drive home.
Listening to some talk radio, I was cruising along the moonlight highway. Not even 2 minutes into my drive, I saw something out of the corner of my eye, coming towards my driver side window. I turned my head only to be face to face with a deer, which smashed right into my car. I took the hit like a man and kept on driving… Just kidding, I actually screamed like a little kid. No joke, I freaked the heck out. I screamed some loud words that should not be repeated on this blog, and slammed on the brakes as a pack of deer bolted in front of my car. My phone was dead. I felt stranded. I got out of the car to inspect the scene. I realized right off the bat that when I couldn’t open my door all the way, there might be some damage. There was. The whole drivers side was dented up, and worst of all, the deer got away… Look I’m a poor college kid working an unpaid internship, he least I could’ve gotten for the accident was a weeks worth of venison, but no.
So what do all these tragic events have in common? Nothing. Except they all happened to me. Now how does this all tie to Steve Jobs? I knew right away that when my iMac crashed, Steve Jobs was up to something. And why did the deer get away? Because Steve Jobs was a vegetarian for a while, and probably didn’t want me to eat the venison. If only I hadn’t screamed obscenities about Steve Jobs when my computer died, I bet none of this mess would ever have happened.